These Crazy Breakup Texts Will Be Remembered as Some of the Harshest in History

By: Ene Ayegba | Last updated: Nov 20, 2023

A breakup is usually a stressful period in a relationship. Partners give several reasons for wanting out of their love story with their once-upon-a-time heartthrob. However, we’re here to focus on some particularly interesting breakup messages.

While a breakup in itself is not funny, the following breakup messages are likely to get you laughing in your seat. It may, however, feel a bit insensitive to laugh at another’s misfortune.

Shape Up, Buddy

There are limits to what partners can tolerate in a relationship, particularly when they’ve mentioned the cause of conflict on various occasions. When the expected change is not happening, they might be forced to walk away.

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Typos aside, the offended party had already decided to go solo. Unfortunately, the person on the receiving end of the breakup is most likely not enjoying the comedy.

An Avalanche of Breakups

This man sent a breakup text, in error, to his wife. We can’t even imagine taking the time to put your displeasure into words and eventually sending the message to the wrong person.

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Unfortunately, he set off a massive avalanche that would probably have resulted in much explaining. We don’t support his infidelity, but maybe he should just hold off sending the message to the intended recipient. At least he’ll have a relationship to fall back to after the divorce.

One Good Turn

Partners sometimes hold off passing important information to the other party for reasons best known to them. However, disinformation seldom helps the relationship grow.

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This fellow thought it was the right time to break up with their girlfriend, not knowing the woman equally had some not-so-good news to share. While the news of a pregnant partner could be good, we’re sure he was not prepared to be a dad.

An Ironic Pick-Up Line

Women tend to like guys that are smart and have a way with words. True, we can’t conclude the guy is the one breaking up here, but if it is, the chap’s wittiness might have been responsible for the initial chemistry.

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Unfortunately, they couldn’t help but swing their magic wand for the last time as they walked out of their partner’s life. A funny message, but still sad.

Young Love?

Jenny sounds like a lady who had just tested the waters of a relationship and didn’t like what she saw. People often fall short of their partner’s expectations, or maybe they just need some me-time.

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However, the interesting portion of this breakup message is the bit about Alexander’s friends. There’s definitely a backstory to that, and we’d give an arm to hear it.

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Brutal Exit

Kids can be pretty imaginative, as we often see in their expression of ideas through graphics. This young kid probably asked to play with Valerie during recess, and she refused.

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Unfortunately, it’s pretty sad that such horrific thoughts could have materialized in the mind of a young boy. Children are growing up so fast!

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Public Service Announcement

It seems to have become a recent fad for people to break up with their partners in public. We can imagine how Dan felt when someone who knew the message was for him called his attention to it.

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This public termination of the relationship will definitely rub some salt into the wound. Dan would have carried his burden in silence and conceded victory to Gary. But on Valentine’s Day and in public? Tragic!

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A Meaningful Parting Gift

A telltale sign of a difficult breakup is finding the right words to tell the other person. You feel sorry for them but know you need to let everything go. Then, you start hunting for words with the potential of minimal damage.

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Some people go as far as searching online for tender breakup messages, but ZF was obviously too sophisticated for that. The good thing is he sprinkled a dash of honesty into the message.

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Trapped In the Friend Zone

This duo has been putting effort into taking their relationship to the next level. They’ve been friends and were probably testing the waters by dating. We can never tell if that first date ever materialized.

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But the message clearly indicates the foot was already off the gas, and the brake would come next. We’re just sorry for the person who put in the most effort.

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Out On A Raft of Excuses

What’s that saying about the last straw and the camel’s back again? In isolation, none of the many reasons listed for this breakup individually amounts to anything.

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However, when a relationship has degenerated to the point of no repair, even a good deed would qualify as an excuse to call it quits.

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An Emotional Smackdown

Steve Frazer had his game right, but not for too long. He was in the habit of getting victuals from two different sources until one vendor learned of the other.

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One of Frazer’s girlfriends discovered his promiscuous duplicity and decided to reach out to the other woman. Without his knowledge, they agreed to ditch him at the same time. This public call-out is epic, but no one knows if Frazer’s got some other backup.

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The Customer Care Agent

John Doe’s girlfriend finally mustered the courage to enlighten him of his soon-to-be fatherhood. Unfortunately, Doe’s line is no longer in service; well, according to him, at least.

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We reckon the woman wouldn’t have seen through the lie if witty Doe had not spelled ‘You’ wrongly. At least she could immediately tell how much her partner wanted a baby.

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Hello, Goodbye!

Young Delandreh must have had quite a number of young damsels in his kindergarten class because we can’t seem to understand why he wants to break up after just one month.

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Nonetheless, he sure did a neat job. In just a few sentences, the young lover passed on two vital pieces of information. First, the inception of their break and a notice of their anniversary, probably in an effort to make it less painful.

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Flying Over the Moon

Every space travel enthusiast has dreamed about going on a space mission at least once. However, Greg here had far better use for his imagination.

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After stumbling across the data app profile of a woman, he decided to initiate, enjoy, and end a relationship with her, all in one message. With an imagination like Greg’s, life would be a bed of sweet-smelling roses.

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No More Remote Work?

You would think an emotional partner is the only one with whom you can break up. Not until we met this woman who broke up with her employers and job description.

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Joining the clue lines makes it seem like she has been called to report back to the office after a period of remote work. However, the recipients of the note make us deduce she probably works at a restaurant owned and run by the “Five Guys.”

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Notarization of Breakup

This woman seems like she’s out to legalize her breakup with Kevin Maxey. You know, like, when the prosecutor asks, “What evidence do you have to show that you and Mr Maxey stopped dating on December 9?” She’d then whip out the newspaper clipping and present it to the court.

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But jokes aside, she might have chosen that newspaper because it was Maxey’s favorite for job hunting.

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They Definitely Confided With the Internet On This One

This person must have gotten tired of trying to remain cultured during what is, in reality, a brutal breakup.

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The bad news for Erin was eventually sandwiched between a string of mumble-jumbles from a search engine.

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Social Media Brutality

Karl is an epic heartbreaker. He created an Instagram post, cropped out his girlfriend in a picture collage, and tagged it #TransformationTuesday. That’s of course, a no-brainer.

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Though a social media post is an unconventional way to break up with your girlfriend, Karl followed the logic of revolutionizing the brutality of a breakup, just as social media has transformed how we communicate.

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Will You Grow Up Already?

Obviously, young Rachel was still working on her grammar when she wrote this note, but she had already raked many points on relationship tips. Unlike several adults, Rachel understood the importance of communication in a relationship.

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So, after breaking up with Shawn, she was nice enough to advise him about the need to grow up in his next relationship. Three months of not talking?! We would equally have broken up.

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Broken Long Ago

Sometimes, we find it difficult to accept that things are no longer as they used to be. We get the uncomely attitudes, cold shoulder, and snappy comments, and we still hang in there. It’s easy to find solace in excusing those faults away when they’re simply trying all they can to make us lose interest in them.

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Like the person on the receiving end of this breakup, many partners are only trying to revive a long-dead horse.

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They Gift-Wrapped the Breakup

This breakup will land heavily, like the card reads, on the receiver’s heart. It’s usually very awkward when sneaky people get caught in the act. It’s unfortunate that she had her heart divided between several men.

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The man’s decision to move out of the house was a good one. The fellow was basically saying to his ex, “Instead of stealing sips from the cup of infidelity, better have full-chested gulps.”

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Here’s Why I Moved

When a woman moves out of her husband’s house, tongues will wag, and rumors will fly. This woman found a creative way to save herself the trouble of knocking on multiple doors in the neighborhood before moving out.

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At least, now the neighbors know the husband for the unfaithful partner that he is. Even if he eventually takes down the banner, word would have gotten around.

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Lip-Dumped

When this person decided to leave their partner, they did it in the most blunt way possible.

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This is probably another case of not being able to craft appropriate words. There’s an extra issue here; the person could not find a pen and paper. So, they reached into the bathroom drawer, picked a lipstick, and left an unmistakable message.

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Living in a Parallel Universe

Sometimes, it may be difficult to accept the realities staring us in the face, so we choose to accept a self-made reality. As we see in this message, the woman’s mind is fixed on going separate ways with her partner.

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Unfortunately, the receiver of the breakup message has refused to see the forest for the trees.

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Do You Copy?!

It is one thing to communicate and another to communicate effectively. Ron seems to fall into that category of people who are always quick to arrive at their own conclusions about every situation.

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His girlfriend has given a warning signal of a potential side-stepping. Maybe she’s even willing to sort it out if he’ll be patient enough to hear her out. But there’s Ron rambling on about suppositions that his lack of education is the problem. 

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When They Move

This couple either has a staunch introvert, or the partners are not close enough. Because how is one person moving to faraway Australia, and the other person is finding out this way?

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Maybe they’ve even bought their flight ticket but didn’t want to be declared as MIA. At least the dumped party gets to cry over a cake.

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An Abbreviated Heartbreak

This partner’s feelings were sent from one extreme to the other. We can imagine them reeling in even deeper euphoria of love as they received the initial text—‘ily.’ With butterflies shuffling about in the belly, they tried to make the experience even more romantic.

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Unfortunately, they were suddenly awoken from their daydreams of paradise and made once again to remember the brutal realities of life—heartbreak.

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The Rare Gems

Have you ever dated a person who feels they’re special? We think this person was just trying to act the part, while in reality, they were hurting on the inside.

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If you were to date identical twins at different times, there’d be several manifestations of personality differences. So, they’re right when your ex says that you don’t want to date someone like you ever again.

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The Clown in Every Group

No one appreciates a partner that embarrasses them through awkward behaviors, particularly in public. Make a fool of yourself all you want when we are alone, but not when my friends are there.

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This clownish partner must have come off as hilarious at the inception of the relationship. But it seems the comedian doesn’t know just when to call it quits. We reckon they need to write themself a pep talk.

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